The Living Music List #44: On Metamorphosis
Revisiting old works and considering how different we become from our past selves (early Melted Form ambient track + poem inside)
Currently listening to: Swimming In Sunrays by Melted Form
About 6 years ago, I published my very first ambient demo track on Soundcloud. I was a complete and utter novice in music production. Using my old iPhone, I recorded myself playing pad presets on my college roommate’s old Casio keyboard or recorded sounds out in the world like passing cars, birds, and planes flying overhead. I used Audacity to stitch together my recordings and apply some rudimentary effects. I didn’t know what mastering meant. I had no real knowledge of mixing. I didn’t even really know how to set a tempo in my projects or understand anything about chords or scales or anything like that—I created everything completely by ear. After making 2 or 3 attempts at tracks, this song—Swimming in Sunrays—emerged. As soon as I completed it, I didn’t even want to touch it again. Something about it felt pure and perfect (obviously, it isn’t), like it didn’t come from me at all. I didn’t make it.
That was my first true experience connecting with whatever it is we artists connect with when we create something we love. Source, flow, the ether—whatever it may be. I’ll never forget that moment. It was a long time ago, though, and nothing was the same.
Reflection (Poem)
Hello, friend.
In lieu of a longer reflection today, I’d like to look back at an old poem I wrote around the same time I made Swimming In Sunrays. It was published within my poetry book Shifting Senses, Lifting Lenses: A Book of Poems and Songs.
That title first arose as a name for the album I wanted to make when I first began making music. Over time, however, I realized how well it matched the common themes that were emerging in dozens of my poems at that stage in my life. I went on to self-publish the book under that name and included a few poems that were originally written as songs that would have gone in the album (The State of It All is one example).
Shifting Senses, Lifting Lenses did go on to become a demo album of sorts. In fact, I eventually released most of the demos associated with the project on Soundcloud. While it’s pretty odd going back and listening to them now, I also marvel at the mystery of my making them. I’m not sure I could do anything close to what I did then from a production standpoint, and in a way, it makes me feel quite detached from them, like I wasn’t even the one who created them. At the same time, there are commonalities I didn’t even remember—like how I made an intro track for the album called Hello, Friend.
I feel the same about reading my old poems. They read like the musings of a very different human being, because, I suppose, I was. Everything changes, right? That’s what I knew back then too—I even made a track about it for the same project.
Friend, when you look back at yourself 5 or 10 years ago, who do you see? What do you remember feeling, thinking? What did you imagine the future would look like? What did your music or your poetry sound like?
Do we ever wake up the same person as we were yesterday?
METAMORPHOSIS
This was ten years ago When stars were still new And faces were smooth And the future was formless Now nephews can’t believe uncles And fires rage outside the hearth And the mail is too slow at the end of each month As my tea steeps The steam swirls in warning My lips eager for burning Sweetly smiling in mourning That decade That age In that era still dawning Although hindsight is rewarding It’s nostalgia that is calling missing memories to arms What’s the harm in tracing twisted lines of yarn? Oh, what’s the use? All that youth and hope and fear They’ve no time or place here Though I try to wonder why My eyes grow darker every year Though I am tall, now, after all I fall beneath the weight of all this The years The memories The differences
Music Recommendations
Hello again, friend.
Thank you for reading today’s post. I hope you enjoyed the brief reflection and the poem—and I hope you can take a look back at something you created years ago and remember how you felt back then.
But now, let’s pivot to something fresh and new. As always, here is a handful of new music recommendations ready for your ears.
Happy listening.
The Living Music List—Ambient
Note: All of the below ambient projects are available on Bandcamp. Bold and ^ denote reader-submitted work.
Warden-against by ab9st8 (album / noise, experimental) [Independent / Bandcamp]^
Echo’s by echo & amy_cin (album / dub, electronic) [Independent / Bandcamp]^
On Fractured Ground / Skin Resonance by Annea Lockwood (album / sound art, experimental) [Black Truffle / Bandcamp]
quiet circle by
(EP / ambient guitar, meditative) [Past Inside the Present / Bandcamp]Garden Lullabies by Domy Castellano & Go Outside (EP / field recordings, ambient piano) [Echoes in the Valley / Bandcamp]
for you by lurp sheets (album / ambient guitar, drone) [Ingrown Records / Bandcamp]
Texada (Original Score) by Elori Saxl (EP / ambient jazz, film score) [Western Vinyl / Bandcamp]
well, here we are by Ian Hawgood (album / electroacoustic, meditative) [
/ Bandcamp]
The Living Music List—All Genres
Note: All of the below projects are available on major streaming services. Reminder: Bandcamp links only provided for reader-submitted work in the all genres list.
Lorings by Salami Rose Joe Louis (album / alt electronic) {note: this is impossible to accurately categorize and promises to become one of my albums of the year}
Live at Revolution Hall by Adrianne Lenker (live album / folk)
Withered by d4vd (album / indie pop)
What Was That by Lorde (single / pop)
Sadgirl by Litany (album / indie pop)
Makes Me Great / Out of Body by The Brian Jonestown Massacre (single / alt psych)
Of Mice and Men (Music from the Original Ballet) by Thomas Newman (album / soundtrack)
Bloodless by Samia (album / indie pop)
The Press Box + Bandcamp Friday Reminder
No feature this week, but tune back in next week for a brief feature on an upcoming benefit compilation from Worry Bead Records supporting the Trans Youth Emergency Project.
True Names: A Benefit for Trans Youth—Out May 2
Additionally, a reminder that next Friday, May 2 is Bandcamp Friday! 100% of proceeds from your purchases that day on Bandcamp will directly benefit the artists or the causes they support.
Join the Hum, Buzz, & Hiss Community
Music is best when we listen together. That’s why I’ve created the Hum, Buzz, & Hiss Discord Community, where music lovers, indepedent artists, and small label owners converge to hang out, share great music, and inspire each other.
If you enjoy my letters and want to connect directly with others in the ambient/DIY music space, then come join us on Discord. There, you’ll also find more music recommendations from me, custom playlists, giveaways, and more.
Support the newsletter with a monthly or yearly subscription to get access. Through May 31, 2025, you can get 20% off the yearly subscription forever.
Alternatively, you can buy me a coffee if you want an easy one-time way to support my work.
That’s all for this week’s issue. Thank you for reading. Until next time.
Your friend,
Melted Form
Remember to listen to the hum, buzz, & hiss of the world around you—there is music to be heard there.
Read the previous issue of The Living Music List:
Afterword—Let’s Get In Touch
Are you an artist, a label owner, or a member of the press? Want to share an in-depth feature of your upcoming release, an advertisement, or a guest post for a future Hum, Buzz, & Hiss issue? Get in touch with me at meltedform@gmail.com. As always, I would love to hear and recommend your music, especially if it’s new and ambient/electronic/experimental.
thanks for including qd33 ian hawgood 🙏💜