The Living Music List #5: On Being Alone
And how ambient helps us feel less alone. Plus, 40 new music releases!
Just want to see the new music recommendations? Scroll down or click the button below to check out the Living Music List. Otherwise, read on for this week’s reflection and the full list of new additions to the LML summarized.
Read the previous issue of The Living Music List:
Currently listening to: Isolation Horizon by Alonefold
Reflection
Hello, friend.
Have you taken some time for yourself lately?
Maybe you only have time for yourself, because there isn’t anyone else. Or maybe a moment alone is rare for you, due to the obligations of family, work, or a clingy friend group.
I’ve been spending more time alone this week than I’m used to. My fiancée is away dog-sitting, so my apartment is quiet and still, except for the occasional murmurs or scratching sounds from my two cats.
It’s odd. Disconcerting, at times. After living with a partner for a few years, and roommate(s) for several years before that, these brief periods of living alone feel like glimpses of another life. A lonelier one.
Though I miss my partner essentially every waking second she isn’t by my side, I recognize there is an uncertain peace when it is just me (and the cats).
My train of thought travels farther in these uninterrupted silences. I feel the eyes of boredom burning a hole in the back of my head as I lay limp on the couch. There’s a deep yearning within me, as if a child is laying on my chest and pressing the air from my lungs. Though I feel compelled to act, to relieve the compression, my body is restrained by the child’s weight. And it’s almost… comfortable? Comforting.
How can my body, heart, and mind all feel so at odds? In these moments alone, I consider my constant desire for companionship, my default dereliction of any and all activity, and my innate drive to create something so that others will say they understand the way I feel.
But there is no one here to validate my work or motivate my body to move further than the kitchen. My love is not here to share or fill the silences.
So I sit here and try my best to enjoy the silence for a while.
And then—once my thoughts have had their time to wander, and my joints have stiffened from the inactivity, and the yearning overpowers everything else—I fill the silence.
The Purpose of Ambient Music
It is in these moments when I am alone, when loneliness creeps in, that ambient music reminds me of its greatest value.
I put on a record or a playlist and let it fill the empty space. The sound wraps its arms around me, massages my shoulders, regulates the temperature in the room, adjusts the light—everything softens.
I suddenly regain an ounce of the companionship I am missing, because on the other end of these sound waves, I know there is another lonely person reaching out into the silence and filling it with their feelings and ideas. Neither of us need to speak or communicate in any way other than with some simple tones or drones or piano notes. We just needed to feel another texture in this empty room, to remind us that we are never really alone in this world.
With the music accentuating my thought processes, sparking new feelings, I feel revived. I answer the yearning and get to work, on music of my own or day job tasks, or I decide to finally write something.
The music is unobtrusive enough that it almost creates a new atmosphere of silence—there is sound, but it still offers the peaceful stillness of silence where my brain can roam as far as ever, and my soul feels restless enough to act on my creative desires. And I do whatever I end up doing in good company.
Music Recommendations
Hello again, friend.
Thank you for reading today’s post. I hope you enjoyed the reflection—shorter one today but it was all I felt I needed to say. Shoutout to the music makers helping me fill the silence when I need to.
The list of new music recommendations today is not short, however!
Also, a quick note about the Living Music List spreadsheet: I’m behind. I apologize. I’m not sure how much traffic the spreadsheet is actually getting, so I haven’t been prioritizing it this last week, but I will catch up this weekend and fill in all of the new releases from TLML #4 and #5.
Happy listening.
The Living Music List—Ambient
Note: All of the below ambient projects are available on Bandcamp. * denotes reader-submitted work—thank you!
Silla de Peltre by Javier Torrealba (single / electronica)*
Car Alarm, Turn Signal (feat. Ka Baird) by Lia Kohl (single / experimental, field recording)
The Unfading Spark by Plant43 (album / electronic, experimental [note: this one crosses every subgenre you can think of])
Sylvan by Dead Melodies (album / dark ambient, electroacoustic [note: vocals/drums present on a couple of tracks])
Tempestuous (Part 1) by MYPD (album / field recordings, drone)
Transparent World by I-One (album / psybient, electronica)
Local Void by wgslv (album / noise, experimental)
Freeze by Ø (album / noise, experimental)
Longlegs (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) by Zilgi (album / drone, film score [note: a couple non-ambient tracks])
Sing Sing (Original Soundtrack) by Bryce Dessner (album / orchestral, film score)
The Living Music List—All Genres
Note: All of the below projects are available on major streaming services.
Charm by Clairo (album / alt pop)
TRUE MAGIC by salute (album / electronic)
Vertigo by Griff (album / pop)
Big Ideas by Remi Wolf (album / pop)
WOMAN’S WORLD by Katy Perry (single / pop)
My Oh My (with Bebe Rexha & Tove Lo) by Kylie Minogue (single / pop)
Heaven by Toro y Moi, Kevin Abstract & Lev (single / alternative)
open this wall by berlioz (album / jazz house)
Zeit by Hatti Vatti (album / electronica)
The Auditorium, Vol. 1 by Common & Pete Rock (album / hip-hop/rap)
The Death of Slim Shady (Coup De Grâce) by Eminem (album / hip-hop/rap)
X’s by Cigarettes After Sex (album / alternative)
Evolve by Phish (album / rock)
Now I See the Light by toe (album / rock)
ONLY ONE MODE by Speed (album / metal)
L.A. Times by Travis (album / folk-rock)
Winter’s Diary 5 by Tink (album / R&B/soul)
yustyna by Artemas (album / pop)
Comfort In Chaos by John Summit (album / dance)
blush by Girl Ultra (album / latin pop)
Harmonics by Joe Goddard (album / dance)
Maybe In Another Life by Chenayder (album / indie pop)
Macro by Brijean (album / indie pop)
Incarnation by In Hearts Wake (album / metal)
Vol. III by Webbed Wing (album / indie rock)
WHO AM I by BERWYN (album / R&B/soul)
Thicc! by 96 Back & Martyn Bootyspoon (EP / house)
Aurorae by Otik (EP / electronic)
Cinema by Plínio Fernandes (EP / classical guitar)
AAA by HYUKOH & Sunset Rollercoaster (album / rock)
In the News
Before I go, here are a few things going on in music:
Max Oleartchik, bassist of the band Big Thief, is leaving the band and citing “interpersonal reasons” for his departure.
Julian Koster, a member of the Elephant 6 collective who played with the likes of Neutral Milk Hotel, Music Tapes, and Orbiting Human Circus, has been accused of sexual assault and grooming by Anna “Nesey” Gallons. Gallons was also involved in the Elephant 6 and the Music Tapes.
Per edmmaniac.com: “[Swedish music festival Way Out West] has announced a new IVF stage, where live recordings of festival headline performances will be played to ‘an audience of sperm and eggs.’” Supposedly, some studies have shown that music may help improve fertilization rates during IVF.
Thanks again for reading. Until next time.
Your friend,
Melted Form
Remember to listen to the hum, buzz, & hiss of the world around you—there is music to be heard there.
Want to suggest music for me to listen to? Have questions? Leave a comment or email me at meltedform@gmail.com. You can also join my chat on Substack.
Great reflection. Love reading these